Imagine at the age of 65, being a city gal living in a wealthy metropolis in the Mesopotamia(current day Iraq) named Ur. Picture the nagging truth, that you are an older woman and you feel the greatest tragedy up to this time for your 75 year old husband, is the fact that you cannot give him a child-let alone a son to carry on his name. You look in the mirror and know that you are absolutely beautiful. But why? Why you? You are married to a man you adore and respect, but yet can’t give him that one thing his heart desires. Then one day your father/father-in-law(literally), moved you, your husband, Lot(your husband’s nephew) to a “brighter future”-so he says-and you find yourself settling in Haran(current day Syria). Now, this is not where the “brighter future” home is supposed to be, but Terah is awfully sick in his 205 years of age. He passes away, and then something extraordinary happens. The One true Living God speaks to your husband. And your life drastically changes forever.
This my friends, is just the beginning of the marriage of Abraham and Sarah, that is shared to us in the Bible. They are the basis of many Jewish traditions/prayers. And hold such a firm foundation in almost all theology that Christians and Jews alike respect and learn from. I want to just focus on their marriage, but oh how hard it has been to do that! God speaks freshly through Genesis every time I read it. Let’s start in Genesis 12 where God first speaks to Abram(his city name meaning exalted father) and Sarai’s role in this epic love story that I pray brings you not only closer to Jesus but also makes you hug your husband a little tighter today. :)
“Listen to me, all who hope for deliverance—all who seek the Lord! Consider the rock from which you were cut, the quarry from which you were mined. Yes, think about Abraham, your ancestor, and Sarah who gave birth to your nation. Abraham was only one man when I called him. But when I blessed him, he became a great nation.” Isaiah 51:1-2, NLT
Please note before we begin: God did not change Abram and Sarai’s names until further in their life. I will try my best not to jump back and forth too much until that part of their story. But when quoting other authors, I simply cannot help it! (haha)
While still in Haran, God spoke to Abram and told him, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family and go to the land that I will show you.” God promises Abram that He will: make Abram into a great nation, He will bless him and make him a blessing to others. God also promises Abram: He will bless those who bless him and curse those who curse him. All the families on earth will be blessed through Abram. (Genesis 12:1-3) So Abram, Sarai, Lot and all of their possessions departed Haran towards Canaan aka the Promised Land. Sarai had nothing but Abram’s word that God had spoken to him. Coming from a booming city where there were gods for everything, to now living as a nomad and doing what the One and Only God told your husband to do might have been a challenge for her. But we have no reason to believe that Sarai did anything except support her husband and stand beside him. I love how Edith Deen in her book All the Women of the Bible describes Sarai in all of this: Sarah’s life became Abraham’s. Where he went, she went, not as his shadow but as a strong influence. Together they experienced the vicissitudes of nomadic life and found in them great spiritual significance. Abraham, man of God, who was willing to forsake home and country for the unknown, with Sarah ever at his side. Her love and loyalty were blessed by Abraham’s devotion to her….Tenaciously, Sarah shared her husband’s dangers and heartaches and also his great purposes and dreams.
Now, they traveled to Negev which is in Canaan and settled there. A severe famine hit Negev leaving them unsure how they were going to make it. If you ask for my personal opinion, I would be praying to the Living God that had spoken to my husband and asking Him why there was a famine and how we were to live. BUT, Abram decided “Let’s escape the famine and head towards Egypt,” he also decided that they should tell anyone who asks: Sarai is his sister-so that he wouldn't be murdered because she was beautiful. I love how Abram’s bargaining was “Look, you are a very beautiful woman.” (Remember this flattery as her age at this time is 65) Pharaoh did indeed take the beautiful Sarai into his household. We are not told if Pharaoh took her as his wife, but he did give Abram a lot of presents for her. (Genesis 12:16) How must she have felt? Away from everything she had ever known, in a foreign land and then sold to the Pharaoh while her husband was enjoying presents like it was his birthday or something! Scripture suggest that we’d be mistaken to picture Sarai minus an outspoken opinion.* But are their any words for this? Betrayal, desperation, anger…might come to mind. At this point in her life, did she even fathom the promises made over her life when God made His promises to Abram? God saved her by striking Pharaoh and his household with plagues. Abram and Sarai were escorted out of Egypt…along with Abram’s new possessions. Oh to be a fly on the camel that day!
Moving along, we are just going to dabble on Lot and his life. His life and marriage will be on the next blog post. But I feel it appropriate to include him as he did(several times) stir up drama. Abram was very rich in livestock, silver and gold. Naturally, Lot was very rich too. They could not sustain the same land anymore. Their herdsmen began fighting for heaven’s sake! Even though God promised Abram all of the land, Abram did let Lot pick what land he wanted and he chose the valley of Jordan as far as Sodom aka he took what he thought “looked” like the best of the best. Not long after, there is a battle and Lot is captured from his “paradise” of land. Abram not being the military type, did mobilize 318 trained men (that had been born into his household) recovered Lot, his possessions, all the women and other captives. Although Sarai is not mentioned in this portion of Scripture(Genesis 13:1-14:16) we have to think about how she felt seeing her close family move away and how worried she must of been when hearing about their capture. Then her husband leaves to save him. Did she worry about Lot or did she think to herself “here he goes again…stirring up trouble!”? We won’t know until we ask her ourselves one day. However, it is wise to personalize as we are relating this historical story to our lives. Who in our life, do we feel, makes “boulders” in our marriage? A family member? A close friend? Maybe Lot’s intentions were not intentional, Scripture does imply he was just looking out for himself. Maybe that is the same with the person that came to your mind. Praying over that person can remove the boulder quite remarkably. (I know from personal experience.)
Oh Melchizedek, the King of Salem and priest of God Most High. How I would love to write a whole novel on him.(Even though he is only mentioned a handful of times in the Bible.) After Abram’s victory, Melchizedek blesses Abram.(Genesis 14:17-20) Please read and study about this amazing priest of God Most High, you can also find him paving the way for Jesus to be our Most High Priest in the book of Hebrews.
Some time later, the Lord spoke to Abram in a vision. Abram was upset, because he thought his only heir would be Eliezer of Damascus, who was a servant in his household. God told him Eliezer would not be Abram’s heir. Then the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, ‘Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’t how many descendants you will have!’ And Abraham believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith.(Genesis 15:5-6, NLT) I want you to know something: the real children of Abraham are those who put their faith in God-all who put their faith in Christ share in the same blessing Abraham received(see Galatians 3:6-9) Were Abram and Sarai discussing this in their tent before bedtime? God took Abram outside and promised him descendants. Was she crying like every other night over the fact all she wanted was a baby? What exactly did Abram tell her about God speaking to him about the descendants they will leave this world with? Because Sarai takes matters into her own hands….
(Once again, we are going to touch briefly on Hagar and Ishmael. Hagar was taken as Abram’s wife so she and Ishmael will be covered in the next blog post.)
Sarai had an Egyptian maid named Hagar. Could she of been one of those presents from Pharaoh? We don't know, what we do know is that Sarai tried to “play God” and that was not a good move for her. Before we try to rap our heads around WHY a wife would chose someone else to sleep with her husband and/or WHY a wife would want her husband to take on another wife, here are some commentary notes I found that might give us some insight:
- An ancient Near Eastern law code describes the practice of giving one’s maid as a second wife. The law provided protection for children born to the second wife. It prohibited the disinheriting of a firstborn son of a slave wife(Ishmael) in the even that the barren upper-class wife should later bear a son(Isaac). However, the upper-class wife’s son would supersede the slave wife’s son as the legal “firstborn.” Furthermore, the slave wife and her children could be offered their freedom, in which case they forfeited their inheritance. Isaac did become Abraham’s heir, representing one case in which a younger son received the inheritance and blessing. (The Chronological Guide to the Bible by Thomas Nelson, Inc-page 11)
- Ancient marriage contracts obligated wives to provide a son for the married couple. Contracts dating from the mid-second millennium B.C., have been discovered in the city of Nuzi that specify that if a wife bore no male child she had the obligation to provide a child via a female servant. If a child was thus born to a servant, the child would be considered the child of the wife in regards to the contract. Thus, even a barren wife could fulfill her marital contract. (The Chronological Guide to the Bible by Thomas Nelson, Inc-page 11)
- An old Assyrian marriage contract included this instruction: if within 2 years she has not procured offspring for him, only she may buy a maid-servant and even later on, after she procures somehow an infant for him, she may sell her wherever she pleases. (The Patriarchs by Beth Moore, page 36)
WHATEVER THE REASON MAY BE: Being around 75 years old, I assume her pressing need this time around to have a child was God’s promise to her and Abram that they would have descendants. Maybe she thought that God didn't deem her worthy to have her own child, she was however past child-bearing years. “Now behold, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. Please go in to my maid; perhaps I shall obtain children through her.”(Genesis 16:2, NASB) Maybe she talked herself into this because all she truly wanted was for Abram to be happy. Whatever the case may be, this took a HUGE toll on their marriage. Abram did as she instructed, laid with Hagar and from then on Sarai despised her. Sarai treated Hagar harshly, but Hagar did indeed bear a son. Abram was 86 years old, when the wild donkey of a man-baby Ishmael was born.
When Abram was 99 years old and Sarai 89 years old, the Lord appeared to him and said, “I am El Shaddai-‘God Almighty,’ serve me faithfully and live a blameless life. I will make a covenant with you, by which I will guarantee to give you countless descendants.” (Genesis 17:1-4) Abram immediately fell to his face, and God told him His covenant with him:
- establish a covenant between Me and you and all of your descendants
- multiply you exceedingly
- My covenant is with you
- you shall be the father of a multitude of nations
- no longer shall your name be Abram(exalted father), but Abraham(meaning father of a multitude)
- I will make you exceedingly fruitful
- your descendants will become many nations, kings will be among them
- I will be your God and the God of your descendants after you
- give you and your descendants the entire land of Canaan for eternal possession
- every male shall be circumcised as a sign of this covenant
In some translations, it says the Spirit of the Lord spoke this to him. The Hebrew word used for the Spirit of God is the word Ruach-meaning ‘the out-breathing.’ He breathes Himself into Abram and makes him Abraham, Father of Multitudes..Abram, with [Jehovah’s breath] within him, becomes Abraham.* Sarai was NOT left out of the covenant, here is her blessing:
- her name shall no longer be Sarai, but Sarah(meaning Princess)
- I will bless her
- will give a son to Abraham by her
- she shall be the mother of all nations
- kings of the peoples shall come from her
Note how God chose to announce the name change and blessings concerning Sarai to Abram rather than directly to her. God’s revelation to Hagar dismisses the idea that He preferred not to speak to women. …God may have wanted Abraham himself to view Sarah as blessed, changing how Abraham-as her husband-identified her. …Whether or not Abraham consciously deducted such, his attitude suggests that he believed Sarah’s barrenness was more powerful than God’s promises. That’s why he kept suggesting other ways of helping God fulfill His promise, not the least of which is found in Genesis 17:18, “If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!” In his wildest imagination, Abraham did not think God could use Sarai. She was, after all, unfruitful. Unable. Unusable. (The Patriarchs by Beth Moore, Page 46, emphasis mine) WOW. Let all of this soak in. God made SURE that Abraham knew his wife was being taken care of as well, God wanted Abraham to know who He had chosen for this unconditional covenant. “Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said in his heart, “Will a child be born to a man 100 years old? And will Sarah, who is 90 years old, bear a child?”(Genesis 17:17,NASB) Here are two people-that are not spring chickens, I might add-getting their whole livelihood spelled out for them. This unconditional covenant is not just words on a page, but LIFE for you and me too. We are Abraham’s ancestors through Sarah, we are blessed because they were blessed. How different would our lives be if we fully grasped this blessing? Our marriages are blessed. Our household is BLESSED.
In the same way, “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.” The real children of Abraham, then, are those who put their faith in God. What’s more, the Scriptures looked forward to this time when God would make the Gentiles right in His sight because of their faith. God proclaimed this good news to Abraham long ago when He said, “All nations will be blessed through you.” So all who put their faith in Christ share the same blessing Abraham received because of his faith. (Galatians 3:6-9, NLT)
Guess what Abraham did immediately: took Ishmael and every male among his household and circumcised them, along with himself.
One day, Abraham was sitting at the entrance of his tent at the heat of the day. The Lord appeared to him and when he looked up he saw 3 men coming to him. He immediately ran to and bowed himself to the ground asking them not to pass him by but to let water be brought to wash their feet and bread to refresh them. When they accepted, Abraham ran to Sarah to prepare the finest bread. You can see part of Sarah’s personality in Genesis 18:6-9, because A. she had servants but made the bread herself and B. she gave great attention to this custom of hospitality. Abraham ran to the herd, took a tender and choice calf and had a servant prepare it. Once all complete, he presented this to his guests and stood by them under a tree as they ate. “Where is Sarah, your wife?” the visitors asked. “I will return to you at this same time net year and Sarah shall have a son.” (Genesis 18:9-10 NLT) Sarah was behind the tent door listening and laughed to herself. OK: shouldn't she be doing cartwheels or something? God adamantly said SHE WOULD BEAR ABRAHAM’S SON. Now, its all happening and she laughs? Lord have mercy! Naturally, the Lord asked Abraham why Sarah was laughing. “Is there anything too difficult for the Lord? At the appointed time I will return to you at this same time next year, and Sarah shall have a son.”(Genesis 18:14, NASB) He even previously pens a name to their beloved child: Isaac. (Genesis 17:19) Of course his name means laughter, his parents laughed every time they thought of the impossibility of his birth(see also Genesis 17:17; 21:6)! May I suggest why Sarah laughed in this instance? According to the John MacArthur Bible Commentary: Sarah was not thinking of divine miracle but of divine providence working only in the normal course of life, being convinced that, at her age, bearing children was not possible. (vs 9-13, paraphrased) Maybe also, their laughter came from the sorrow and heaviness of spirit that they had never been able to conceive? Proverbs 14:13 says, Even in laughter the heart may be in pain, and at the end of joy may be grief.(NASB) This “laughter” speaks volumes to us. Do you ever feel like God is pressing on your heart a change in direction or a major change in your life? Do you respond in laughter? When God called Sarah out on laughing at His fulfilling promise, she denied it because she was afraid. Being afraid of something or anything can change our lives. Oh that we may not be afraid to let God guide our lives for His will! I love how God got in the last word: “No, but you did laugh.” (Genesis 18:15, NASB) HE KNOWS. He knows what is in our hearts, HE KNOWS what is in our marriage. He knows when we laugh because we are sorrowful, have a heavy heart or are just plain afraid. God then explains to Abraham that HE CHOSE HIM, in order that he may command HIS CHILDREN and household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice. (Genesis 18:19, NASB) God always has a plan, He will is ever present in our lives.
(Now, let me just give my “input” on these 3 men that came with God to Abraham. They were headed to Sodom because of the men of Sodom’s exceedingly wicked sin. I believe that this appearance of God to man was Christ in a physical pre-existent form, not to confuse Him with the 3 men that came. I believe they were angels. My basis of this believe is that God stayed behind and talked with Abraham alone(Genesis 18:22). Also, while in Sodom the 3 men were called angels. God gave us Christ as the visible image of the invisible God. (Colossians 1:15A, NLT)
AND here we go again! As if Pharaoh and that lesson wasn't enough: Abraham and Sarah journeyed and told Abimelech, King of Gerar, that Sarah was his sister. SO ABIMELECH TOOK SARAH AS HIS WIFE!(Fun fact: Gerar came to be known as the Philistines whole land aka Palestine.) Ok let’s back up a second and notice, where was Abraham’s flattery? When Sarah was 65, she was sooo beautiful, he didn't want to get killed. Now, its just “you’re my sister.” May I suggest that it was now a political agenda? Abraham was so wealthy he didn't want anything to mess with his land/fortune. I agree with Beth Moore in The Patriarchs when she states: We learn from history, however, that love and desire were often among the least of the motivations for marriage among heads of states. Politics and protection often motivated alliances…If Sarah had only been Abraham’s sister, she would have been a shield for Abimelech and perhaps a charm of sorts to the superstitious.(Page 60) Am I saying that Abraham and Sarah weren't in love anymore? Absolutely not! I’m saying that this time around, the reasoning for the deception might have been political instead of physical. Once again, God wasn't happy about this one bit. He came to Abimelech in a dream and said to him, “Behold you are a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is married.” God didn't allow Abimelech to come near or touch Sarah. God also told him to restore Abraham his wife. It is blatantly clear that God takes sins against marriage personally. As we have previously learned, when you are married, you become One Flesh. Abimelech confronts Abraham, Abraham’s response: “I thought surely there is no fear of God in this place and they will kill me because of my wife. Also, she and I have the same father, different mothers.” Once again, Abraham received gifts: sheep, oxen, servants, HIS WIFE with 1,000 pieces of silver. Now, during the time Sarah was taken as Abimelech’s wife: God closed all the wombs of the household because of her. Once Abraham blessed Abimelech and left Gerar, all the wombs were opened back. Here we are again, Abraham has presents at Sarah’s expense. (I no longer want to be a fly on that camel.) Abraham left Egypt 25 years earlier a very rich man, but don't for a moment discount the emotional and mental torment and marital distress that resulted from his poor decisions.* I will just leave this right here, because we have a baby to celebrate!
Just as and when the Lord said they would: Abraham and Sarah welcomed baby boy Isaac!!! (Genesis 21:2) When Isaac was around 3 he was weened and Abraham threw a big feast for him! Enter the drama: Sarah caught Ishmael making fun of Isaac, so she told Abraham to throw Hagar and Ishmael out. Sarah was not wanting to deal with a toddler around a rough half-brother and his jealous mother. The whole situation distressed Abraham. Ishmael was his son, his flesh and blood. God told Abraham to listen to Sarah. Servants who provided such children were not supposed to be sent away, but rather treated favorably. So it was that it took the voice of God to convince Abraham to listen to Sarah’s desire.(Genesis 21:12) (Taken from The Chronological Guide to the Bible by Thomas Nelson, Inc., page 11, paraphrased, emphasis mine) Luckily, God never planned on leaving Ishmael out, He stated He would make a nation from him too because he was Abraham’s son also.(Genesis 21:18) Early the next morning, Abraham gave Hagar and Ishmael water and bread and sent them on their way. Was their strife between Abraham and Sarah over this? Did Sarah rejoice as Hagar and Ishmael descended through the land and disappeared? Did she show her appreciation to Abraham and praise God for the intervention on her part? Did it take Abraham a little bit to get use to not having his 13 year old son around? Oh I bet it stung his heart, but he knew God would protect Ishmael.
Some time later, God spoke to Abraham and told him to take Isaac where He directs him and offer him as a burnt offering. Scripture says the next morning Abraham saddled his donkey, split wood for the altar, took 2 young men and Isaac and journeyed to the place God told him. Just like that. No arguing. No trying to get God to “change” His mind. I wonder what Abraham told Sarah. It took them 3 days to get where God told Abraham to go. They had been married quite a long time up to this point, could she tell God told Abraham to go just by looking in his eyes? This was her promised son, I’m sure she knew something but the faith that gave her this miracle baby would remain her faith through this test to her husband. Abraham told the 2 young men to stay behind, that he and Isaac were going to go up the mountain and worship. At this point, Isaac was asking what they were going to sacrifice. I wonder when he realized it would be himself, did he at this point in his life have the same closeness to God as his parents did? Did he trust God with his life? When they arrived, Abraham built the altar, bound up Isaac and laid him on it. He then took out his knife and stretched out his hand-but the angel of the Lord stopped him! Whew! “For now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son from me.”(Genesis 22:12, NASB) Hebrews 11:17-19, says that by faith Abraham offered Isaac, his only begotten son but that he also thought God would raise Isaac from the dead because of His promise. Abraham had faith in God completely. He knew God’s promises and believed in everything God said with his whole life. He knew that God would provide even if He wanted Isaac sacrificed. If Isaac didn’t trust God with his whole life yet, I’m guessing he did at this point because when Abraham raised his eyes he saw a ram caught up in the thicket. There was their offering to the Lord. The name of this altar is the Lord will Provide. How fitting! When they returned home, I wonder how excited they were to share everything with Sarah! Was Isaac just overjoyed with the Lord who Provided?! Was he out of breath relating all of God’s wonder in this? This family just got stronger in the Lord Who Provides!
When Sarah was 127 years old, she passed away.(She is the only woman in the Bible, whose age at the time of death is recorded.) Isaac at this point was 37 years old. And unwed.(Remember this, it’s important later!) Abraham was beside himself. He mourned and wept over his bride.(Genesis 23:2) Abraham held her so close in his mourning and realized that he had no place to bury her. Sarah’s death could not possibly be the first in their clan since reaching Canaan. Over 60 years have passed. They have undoubtedly lost loved ones as well as trusted servants and employees. Forgive my crudeness, but up until now any dirty would do. Not for Abraham’s Sarah, however. Not for the Princess.* So Abraham went to great lengths to buy the burial site for Sarah. Sarah was buried in the cave of the field at Machpelah facing Mamre in the land of Canaan(aka the Promised Land). His honor as a husband was also at stake in the manner by which he’d pay his last respects. This burial site would be his final gift to his princess.*
In Genesis 23:6, Abraham is called a prince while trying to buy Sarah’s burial site. I want to leave our journey on the strong and powerful marriage of Abraham and Sarah with this excerpt from Beth Moore’s The Patriarch’s study. I feel it pulls their marriage together beautifully. God appointed Abraham the task of telling Sarai she had a new name. Perhaps she asked what it meant, or maybe she already knew: princess. Sarah was the most beautiful woman Abraham had ever seen. He was so captivated by her beauty that he obsessed with fear that someone would kill him to have her. Despite their every faithless act, God proved faithful. (Page 79, emphasis mine)
Their marriage was filled with love, devotion, heartache, struggle, suffering, joy, faithfulness, the list goes on and on…and guess Who was the center of their marriage? God. The Lord will Provide.
*Quoted from The Patriarchs by Beth Moore
